Inspired by brilliant website Overhead in the Newsroom (overheardinthenewsroom.com), I’ve started keeping a note of all the hilarious things that are said in our office.
Editor: Your front page has just walked in on a stick.
Reporter: I love it! I’m going to celebrate by going to Poundland.
Editor: Are you busy?
Reporter: Yeah, I’m googling pictures of Sonic the hedgehog.
Reporter: Ooh can we add some thank yous in? And then they list off about 20 different people. Thank you to Mr and Mrs Smith. Well what’s their first names? I don’t know but they did give us a really nice apple pie and the kids loved that apple pie. It’s worse than the Oscars.
Headline to a story about a man threatening a policeman with an axe: He showed his chopper to a copper.
Editor: I’m surprised they let me do court to be honest. He was done for flashing his knob in public *phone rings* hello!
Reporter: I’m in the mood to be morally horrified.
Editor: Rearrange this sentence: Shit, I don’t give a.
Reporter: Is that going to be a story for this week?
Editor: It will be if I can be bothered to write it.
Editor: Is any of this hard news or is it all just shit? Yep, looks like it’s all shit.
Reporter: (about 2pm on Monday) Is it Friday yet?
Reporter: there aren’t many jobs where you can sit at your desk and say ‘nipples…no, sex toys…no.’
Editor: You’ve moved me. You’ve moved me all the way to the toilet.
Editor 1: Have you had these press releases about teenage pregnancies in Worcestershire?
Editor 2: Yeah
Editor 1: Are you doing them?
Editor 2: Yes…it’s all my fault.
Photographer: That did not go down well, I just took a picture of this kid with a sponge in his hand. I asked him to put the sponge in his other hand for the picture and I swear to god he did not know what I meant.