Photographer: If you’re old enough to drop your knickers, you’re old enough to have the baby. There you go, that’s my thought for the day.
Editor: *Commenting on truancy figures* “0.1 per cent, how are they doing that? Mind you, they’re just allowed to doss and take drugs in lessons. They’re just having a party!”
Reader feeling hard done by due to council tax rises: It’s always band D that they put up.
Editor: Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.
Editor: Look at those cakes, they look orgasmic.
Photographer: You don’t have sex very often do you?
Editor: *talking about Supersize vs Superskinny* There’s such a contrast…one’s like a skeleton and one’s like a bouncy castle.
Reporter: Ooh it’s comedy bronze in here today.