Editor to heavily pregnant colleague: How come you stopped pole dancing?
Reporter: The X Factor has started and in my mind that’s the countdown to Christmas. That’s the real advent calendar.
Editor: Pretty much all my contacts are dead.
Editor: I’m just saying that if I had 36DD bollocks and loose fitting boxers and I ran around a sports pitch and they were banging against my leg, it would hurt. I imagine it’s the same principle for boobs.
Property: Who’d want to get that close to Wayne Rooney?
Editor: I would cause then I wouldn’t have to work here.
Editor discussing a Bromsgrove story: I tell you what do it and you can use it for Redditch because Rubery starts with an R as well.
Editor: Look you’ve got the choice, low pay or no pay.