Editor: Can you imagine trying to control rabbit AIDs?
Editor on the phone: Yeah, yeah, because the ground’s wet the bulbs are just sliding in.
Editor: You’re only sending Harriet to this meeting tonight so she can spend some time with real adults.
Editor: We’ve got so much downpage it’s going to be going up the page.
Editor: I’m loving the fact that my trousers are now so loose I can pull them up to my tits.
Editor: Harriet can you get this rabies off my tea?
Editor: I’ve rung up the Mental Health people today and they haven’t got back to me. It’s a good job I’m not hanging anywhere.
*Discussing what to have at the Christmas meal*
Editor: What goes well with 17 litres of vodka?
Reporter: The question is what do you want to see in your sick on the Saturday?
Editor: She looks like she’s been massacred in some kind of plastic surgery accident.