Quotes 12.


Editor: You’re looking more and more like a dishevelled Alzheimers patient every day.

Concerned-sounding editor to reporter moving a fan: Careful don’t injure yourself…you’ve got a couple of picture captions to write yet.

Editor1: Anyone want half a sausage roll?
Editor2: Why half?
Editor1: I only fancy one and a half sausage rolls but they were on offer so…

Editor: I just nearly sent [reporter] an e-mail saying ‘don’t worry, I’ve done the sexual assault’.

Editor: I love you doidge.
Reporter: I like you very much as a friend.

Editor: I’ve got a real urge to scratch my asshole.

Editor: I’ve got an irrational fear I’m going to run out of baking potatoes before Christmas Day.

Editor: You’re like a little cabbage aren’t you?

Reporter: I do love you deeply but you’re being a massive cock today.


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