Editor talking about the snow: Redditch looks like it’s been shat all over by Jesus.
Editor: Concern for missing woman in Stourport…I’m not concerned.
Editor on phone: I’ve heard they’re consultating on the rural bus services.
Editor: What are you working on now?
Reporter: I’m currently browsing the internet, why?
Editor: It’s only been going three years that paper and it’s changed its look more than Madonna.
Editor: Bad luck is forgetting your bus pass, having your house and business burn down is slightly worse than that…
Reporter: Every cloud…pisses on me.
Editor discussing knighthoods: What about services to weeing? I’ve managed to hold the wee I needed at quarter to three in and now it’s twenty to six and my bladder hurts. Services to toilets that is.