A very short one just to say that when I grow up, I want to be Mary Portas. She’s an absolute legend – about ten foot tall, brightly coloured hair and the biggest bully ever. She’s one of those people who’s so mean you don’t even notice they’re being mean. She mercilessly marches into people’s shops in massive heels and the tightest trousers you’ve ever seen in your life and tells them they’re rubbish in a way that makes you believe that shopping is the be all and end all of life. What a ledge.