Photographer 1 after a bit of confusion about where places were: Have you been smoking ganja again? *silence* you’re not denying it then.
Photographer 2: I don’t smoke ganja, I smoke crack.
Editor: This is how low our standards are, we’re buttering bread with what is essentially a meat cleaver.
Editor discussing ways to ward off mentalists: I might just wear a sign saying ‘I have no money and no interest in anything you have to say’.
Editor: Did the Smurfs reach Zimbabwe?
Editor: I make it a rule never to make love to plastic surgery accident victims.
Editor 1 to Editor 2 returning from a long meeting: What happened? Are you alright? Are they suing?
Editor: I have got hair like that but it’s not on my head.
Reporter: Do you want lead poisoning in your cock?