E-mail from editor: Can you do this (basically i don’t want to).
Reporter asking editor a question: I’ll come and have a look myself…it’s like talking to Lassie at times.
Reporter: I think I’m having a few beers tonight.
Editor: I’m having sex with a jaffa cake.
Editor 1: Have you watched on here?
Editor 2: No because she’s your child, not mine.
Editor 1: Well that’s a relief.
Reporter: What’s pretty about periods?
Editor: The little box the pads come in?
Editor: Do you remember what this picture looked like?
Reporter: It looked like my testicles.
Editor eating a dodgy-smelling curry: If I’m not in tomorrow it’s cause I’m on the shitter.
Reporter talking about One Born Every Minute: Did you go down the business end or did you just look at her face?
Editor: What, at the conception or the birth?
Editor: I did try and entice [ex reporter] back by telling her we had a heater and a blind but unfortunately they offered her a trip to France and the best I could do was a trip to [the newsagents].