Editor on phone: Have you got a couple of breasts out?
Editor1: Why’s she got loads of little nipples around her main nipple?
Editor2: How can you be a page three girl with nipples that ugly?
Editor: Backpain is now the most common reason for not having sex.
Photographer: I thought it was ‘you’re fucking ugly’.
Property exec: I’m a little text message.
Editor: Can you imagine if you pissed me off and I said ‘fork off’ and then stabbed you in the eye with a fork?
Editor: He said he liked our story and he kept a straight face so I think he’s a really good actor.
Editor: You smell like a chemistry experiment.
Editor: Unless she phones up to sue me we won’t hear from her.
Editor: It should only take ten minutes unless it’s a really good story or they’re really deaf.