Editor: Have I got AIDs? I hope not. I can’t rule it out though…everything else is going wrong so…
Editor: I don’t know if he was respectable. He was wearing glasses, he might be a paedophile.
Reporter: Chavvy’s all I have.
Reporter: I’m not stupid.
Editor: Woah woah woah, let’s not make claims we can’t back up.
Editor: I like taps, there’s something reassuring about them.
Editor talking about why pictures were going missing out of the library: Could it be that the county council are cutting all the libraries including our picture library?
Editor 2: You’re the kind of person who gets punched in the face.
Reporter: I was really excited about getting the census but then when I opened it I thought ‘this is shit’. I thought it was going to ask really personal questions like ‘what colour pants are you wearing?’
Editor on the phone to his young daughter: What you going to do today?
Editor 2 under his breath: I’m a child [editor], probably just play with my toys.
Male editor: I’m busy looking at my vajazzle.
Editor: To know there’s someone out there beating off over me would be pretty sweet.
Editor singing: What’s the difference between you and a bucket of sick? The bucket!