Photographer: Does anyone know where Worcester Hospital is?
Editor: Walsall is the armpit of civilisation.
Editor on the phone: Yeah we have to do a head count each day to see whether anyone else’s been cut.
Property exec: I want to go outside and sit in the sun. I don’t think my computer would work any slower out there. Unplugged.
Editor: Sometimes your creativity is stiffled by your tight pants.
Editor: Unfortunately I’ve done something today you wouldn’t be proud of.
Photographer: Pooed yourself?
Editor: Is it beavers who use their arses to scent stuff or is it chipmunks?
Editor: I love ducks. I hate people who beat them up.
Photographer: They taste nice.
Editor: It’ll be funny if there’s a bus crash or something.
Reporter with a cold: Can someone shoot me? I think I might be lame.
Editor sings in the middle of silence: I’ve got a heavy horse.
Editor on the phone: I’ll give you my number *starts reading out number* oh no sorry, that’s your number.