Editor looking at web stats: We’re peaking like a bastard.
Editor: All women talk about is colouring, washing machine technology ie I’ve pressed the wrong button and it didn’t come on and fashion.
Reporter: Is that it?
Editor: You can’t cram too much in there otherwise you forget how to colour in.
Editor: Does anyone want to play football with 2p pieces?
Editor: I would be rocking in my chair but they won’t buy me a chair that rocks cause it costs too much.
Property exec: The edges of this tray feel like they’re going to come away, but it’s lasted since the 1970s so it should be alright.
Editor: You’ve got to keep your thatch up to scratch.
Editor commenting on his monopoly over the quotes blog: Can someone pitch in with something funny from time to time? Fucking hell.
Editor shouting in the middle of an entirely unrelated conversation: What some bears go through is unbearable.
Editor talking to reporter: Can I be honest with you? You look like a man who 90 per cent of the time has no idea what he’s doing or why he’s here.
Editor: They told me my face would grow in to my teeth.
*after small rant* I’m not a rabbit, fucks sake.
Editor about colleague: He does look like Harry Potter…when he’s got older and given up.
Editor talking about a song: I wanna dance to this while drinking an alcopop with a straw. Yeah, I’m 14.