Editor: You’re a lovely retard you are.
Photographer editing a picture: Right I’ll sharpen this but try not to sharpen her facial hair.
Photographer: Why are they called hookers?
Editor: Because they hook you in…with their fannies.
Editor: I’ll be honest, I’m not trained to deal with epileptic fits. I’d just kick them in the face and tell them to stop pissing about.
Editor: I broke a girl’s collar bone once.
Editor on the phone: Who is it? Age Concern? Oh god I’m not that old yet.
Editor in his 20s: Britney Spears is 30 and has two kids, it’s like life is giving me reminders I’m going to die any day now.
Editor: I’ve read in the Daily Mail having cake off a rapist is not good.
Editor on phone: Have you got any jpegs of the bear?
Editor: When’s National Curry week?
Reporter: When’s National Shut the Fuck up week?
Reporter: You can have a night out in Asda.
Editor: This bird’s beaten cancer. I’m pleased for you bab but you’re from Bromford.
Editor: I love the Black Country Museum, my favourite bit’s the chip shop.